Privileged Brownie Dreams - West & Rose Farm

Privileged Brownie Dreams

It is hard to believe that we are starting week four of self-quarantine and social distancing.  Some days, it feels like it is creeping by at a snails pace.  Other days, it feels like the weeks are whizzing right past us.  I have relished this time with my family, but also miss our everyday normal.  The biggest challenge we've been facing lately is the saga of grocery orders...

I submit large grocery orders every week and a half or two weeks.  I order more than I need because I know about half of it will not make it into our bags.  I know I am not alone in this struggle and for those less fortunate than me, the struggle is much more real and stressful, so I try to keep my feet planted firmly on the ground about my "struggles."  We were finally able to get a couple of 6 pack rolls of toilet paper and I swear it felt like I was winning the lottery.  

For the past two grocery orders I have put boxed brownie mix on the list because...well I have been craving brownies, but also because it would be something fun for the kids to do with me.  I have been devastated when those boxed brownies mixes have not made it in our orders the past two times.  I even had a dream where I could smell the brownies baking in the oven and then saw myself cutting hot fudgy brownies and placing a big slice on a fancy blue and white plate.  The dream was so detailed I could see the flecks of melted chocolate oozing inside as I cut into the brownie with a sterling silver fork.  Then I woke up and cried.  Not because of the brownies necessarily, although that was definitely part of it, but I also cried because of how incredibly different our lives are now and how much I have taken for granted all of my life.  Including being able to make a box of brownies whenever I wanted to before this.

My body certainly approves of the lack of brownies, as they are calories I do not need.  We will stick with our bomb pops out in the freezer for our sugar fix.  We are also blessed to have fresh farm eggs and soon homegrown veggies.  We certainly have more than enough food to get us through three weeks or so without going to the store and I am constantly reminded of those who were already struggling financially, emotionally, physically or mentally before all of this started. This experience has shown me how privileged I really am.  I am painfully aware that this is not the reality for so many people during this scary and challenging time.

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